Changing Your Relationship to BalanceNov 16, 2022
Over the past several weeks we have been introducing Bold Parents to organizations, community support groups, and individuals who have shared amazing and at times, heartbreaking stories about being working parents. From individuals with older children we have heard that this type of resource would have been a game changer for them when they were transitioning into parenthood.
One of the questions that comes up over and over again is managing life balance effectively. Notice that I didn’t say work/life or work/family. There is so much more to our overall mental and physical health. In fact at Bold Font we believe there are 10:
- Emotional Health
- Career and Mission
- Fun and Excitement
- Family and Friends
- Intimate Relationships
- Physical Health and Body
- Physical Environment
The difficult truth that many of us don’t want to face is this. You can’t have it all at the same time. There are just not enough hours in the day. Perpetuating this story makes us feel like we are failing or that we just need to find all the perfect life hacks. The outcomes of this story are not good for any of us.
When we change our relationship to balance we begin building a healthier relationship with it. We understand that we are able to make choices about how we spend our time and what we are committed to at any given moment.
Instead let’s begin talking about chapters. The chapters of our life make the full story. There are times when we are building, resting, focusing on something really important, accelerating, and floating. All of this is okay. When we change our relationship to balance we begin building a healthier relationship with it. We understand that we are able to make choices about how we spend our time and what we are committed to at any given moment.
For me it was letting go of my attachment to what a “good mom” looked like. Somewhere along the way, unconsciously, I picked up the belief that a good mom makes a home cooked meal every night. My attachment to this story led to stress. I was building a new company, running two boys to soccer practices across town and my partner was a busy executive as well. I finally had to get realistic. I needed a new standard.
I asked myself what was important about dinner? The answer was that it was our time to connect as a family for 45-60 minutes. Did it really matter what we ate as long as it was healthy? My answer? No. No it did not. I was able to let go of the story that was causing my stress and focus on the value of our time together. Something that was non-negotiable to me. It became clear that I needed to make a choice about how to spend my time and that meant that sometimes we ate at home and many times we picked up dinner, but we ate together and connected for a few precious minutes a night. In recognizing my limitations, I felt peace.